When we are new to a relationship by choice, we bring a lot of desire and expectations with us. (We will talk about the relationships of our family and circumstance in future posts.) Most of those early relationship expectations are pretty much unreasonable.
Relationships are Made
In a perfect world all the fairy tale fantasies of a Disney movie would illustrate the realities of our lives. Unfortunately a perfect world simply doesn’t exist. It’s an ideal, but this unrealistic view of a relationship will not carry us through the long term.
Our beautifully imperfect humanity is what fuels the ability to feel deeply. Our imperfections are also the aspect of our humanity causing us to feel hurt, forgive, heal and appreciate the richness of our imperfections.
Love Isn’t Always Easy
In her article in Psychology Today Tamar Chansky Ph.D. talks about “The Power of Imperfection in Your Relationship.” She wrote the article for Valentine’s Day in 2013. She talks candidly about the fact many people in a relationship actually face doubt on this day set aside for Love.
Her position is it is the imperfect moments that push us into something more passionate and long-lived. When we get past seeing our partner as an enemy, we can recognize they are our most valuable ally in this world. The conflicts and misunderstandings are all part of a process finding the abundance of love only found in long-term committed by choice relationships.
Honest Chinese Eulogy
Imperfections and vulnerability deepen the connection between two people. This video was reportedly filmed by the Chinese government to help citizens learn to live with their partner’s faults.